March 7th, 1996 seemed like just another typical Thursday for a 10-year-old 5th grader living in Southern California. I was going to school, playing outside with friends, and attempting to stay out of trouble—my usual routine. Little did I, or anyone else, know that this day would alter not only my life but the lives of five different families forever.
That night, while on a routine training flight, the MH-47E Chinook my dad was in malfunctioned and crashed in Logan County, Kentucky. Along with my father, CW3 Pierre R.E. Desroches, were CW5 Walter M. Fox, CW3 William R. Monty Jr., SSG Bradley C. Beem, and SSG Tracy A. Tidwell.
As I was getting ready for school the morning of March 8th, we received a call from my older sister. Today was her 20th birthday. I answered the phone and wished her a happy birthday. She was crying and asked to speak to our mom. Being the little brother I was, I handed the phone to our mom and wondered why anyone would be crying on their birthday. As I watched my mom speak to her daughter on the phone, I noticed her face change from joy to sadness in an instant. Then my mom started to tear up. She hung up the phone, pulled me in close, and broke the news to me in a way only a mother could. “Roger, your father was in an accident last night. Honey, I’m so sorry, your father passed away.” I didn’t believe her. This wasn’t happening. She was hugging me and sobbing, and I refused to believe what she had just said. As tears started to form, all I wanted to do was call my dad and hear his voice. I called a couple of times, only getting the answering machine with my dad’s recorded voice. My mom just held me as I broke down.
My dad was my hero. I only really got to know him during the last five years of his life because I was so young. My parents were divorced, and I would go visit him every winter and summer break, as he was stationed at Fort Campbell, KY, and we lived in Southern California. He always made sure to make the most of our visits. We would go to theme parks, take me around the base, go to the lake, and ride in his boat. He always made sure our time together was quality, and we would never waste a moment.
Life was different now. No more new memories to be made. I would still visit my stepmom and see my younger brothers and sister, but it was different. We would meet up with my dad’s friends and those who knew him. I would hear stories about my dad and the kind of person he was to those around him, but I was jealous that they had spent so much more time with him than I had. I would see my friends at home with their dads, and I would struggle internally. Sure, I had some fatherly figures in my life after my dad passed, but they weren’t my dad.
Fast forward to 2003, and I was getting ready to graduate high school in a couple of months. I was an average student, just looking to move on from high school. It was around this time that I remember hearing from the Special Operations Warrior Foundation for the first time. I wasn’t sure why they were contacting me, but through many conversations, I realized that they were there to help me with my future. Now, I will never know exactly what my dad did while he was serving, but I know that his involvement in Special Operations allowed me the opportunity to have my college education paid for. At the time, I wasn’t sure how to feel about this opportunity. There were people I was graduating with who were working hard to get scholarships and awards to cover their college expenses, while here I was, a soon-to-be high school graduate who had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. I felt that I needed to take this opportunity to go to school and figure out what my life would be. I saw the SOWF as an extension of my dad, willing to help me move my life forward, and I didn’t want to let them down.
Honestly, though, Roger in 2003 was not ready for college. I felt like I was wasting this opportunity and not getting the grades to warrant such a wonderful gesture. After two years in community college, I dropped out. I felt like I had failed my dad, and by extension, the SOWF. I needed to do something, but I wasn’t sure what that something was, so I went into the workforce. I was everything from an in-studio DJ to an actor in a dinner theater show, to a retail worker, among many other roles and hats I would wear. I bounced from job to job, just figuring out where I was heading.
In 2011, I moved to Blue Jay, California, to work at a Christian camp. I had helped there previously with a church I worked for, and the opportunity came to live there full-time and work. Since I was in that continuous job circle, I figured, why not? This job would change the direction of my life forever. We put on both summer and winter camps, as well as hosted schools for science and nature camps throughout the school year. I loved being able to help others and have fun at the same time. It was here that I met my future wife and some of the core people in my life today.
Moving ahead to 2022, I’ve been married to my amazing wife for 8 years. We’ve moved several times and ended up setting roots in Fort Worth, Texas, two years ago. I’ve been working for the same retail company for six years, and they are the reason we moved to Texas. Everything was going great, but I felt like something was missing. Through my stepmom, I reconnected with the Special Operations Warrior Foundation and attended the first two Join Forces: Texas-Style dinner events. Every time we went, I would tell my wife that I would love to be a part of something like that—being able to help kids who had gone through similar situations as me and my siblings. She encouraged me to get more involved, but I didn’t know how. Eventually, I got connected with Clay Hutmacher, who offered me the opportunity to become an ambassador for SOWF.
This was what I had been looking for. I now get to come alongside an organization that was with me through the worst time in my life and share with others the amazing things they do for the families and loved ones going through the worst times of their lives. This organization, which always kept in touch with me throughout the years, never forgot me. Every year, I would receive a Christmas card and a birthday card. SOWF continued to be a reminder and an extension of my dad, even after all this time. There are so many wonderful stories of kids who have greatly benefited from what SOWF has provided them during their time of need. Why wouldn’t I want to be part of that? I am thrilled at the opportunity to share their stories, and mine, with as many people and organizations as possible. This organization is the best reminder of those we have lost and how they will never be forgotten.
